Monday, December 3, 2012

Truly Horrible Poetry: Please do your worst!

Everyone needs bad poetry sometimes.

No, not bad. Horrendous. The worst poetry you can imagine. 

For when a relative asks, "Are you busy?" and takes "I'm writing" as a "Sure, I can help." For when door-to-door salesmen come knocking, and won't go away. Just whip it out mid-sentence, interrupting your interruption, and ask them if they'll kindly give you some feedback while they're there. 

For that spectacular play with a character who is a terrible poet; for that teacher who insists on metaphors for the seventeenth week in a row; for that annoying cousin who won't leave you alone.

I bring you All-Purpose Truly Horrible Poetry!


I am a box of tissues
I keep on giving my love
My heart beating for flues
the dripping nostrils of my dove
catches the virus I have spread,
my true love’s nose starts to bleed
into her heart so dead,
and love taketh seed.

Your challenge: Add another stanza of truly horrible poetry. This "poem" is to be public domain, for anyone, anywhere, who needs something truly awful. Do your worst, Internet!

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