Cats, Flowers, and Cat-Friendly Gardens

I first posted this last year, but it's that time of year again (okay, maybe a little after most of the planting has been done, but still useful!) So here's a repost of pet-friendly garden plants!


If you're like me, you've got a cat (and it seems like a very large number of my writer friends have felines to 'help' them type.)  And if you're like me, you like flowers.  And if your cat is actually a cat, it probably tries to eat your flowers when you have them.

I did a little research, what with it being spring and all, and looked up some cat-non-toxic flowers.  I've included a couple of links if you'd like a wider variety.  Both links also include a "toxic" list.  Always keep an eye on your cat when you introduce a new plant, just in case they've got an allergy, but these flowers won't warrant an emergency vet call if they 'mysteriously' disappear.

Non-toxic plants for cats:
Dahlias, Gerbera Daisies, lavender (not blooming, but it's a good time to plant,) most herbs (including rosemary, basil, oregano, thyme, cress, dill, and of course catnip,) begonias, celosia, aster, roses, orchids, pansies, impatients, and zinnia

ASPCA toxic/nontoxic flower list: http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/poison-control/plants/ (also lists for dogs and horses)
Edit: I had another link, but it was broken. So here's a different one: Jennifer Copley's lists of plants that are and are not safe for cats.

On Editing

Why do we edit?

What do we edit out?

Who are we when we edit - authors, readers, critics, or trolls?


I edit because I want people to read my story.  Not just because a poorly edited novel is less likely to be read, but because a story with poor grammar, poor word choice, and poor pacing really is almost unreadable.  How can my readers know what I say, if they have to pause every page to figure out what I've just said?  I write for people.  People don't like to have to battle a paragraph to find the meaning behind it.  They just want the story.  And when they have to stop to think about what was just said, then they're not getting that story.

I edit out anything that makes me go, "huh?" I'm not talking about philosophical questions that are supposed to make the reader thing.  A well-written story is a self-contained universe. I'm talking about anything that breaks me out of the world, that sends me back into the real world instead of the one within the book.  That means overlong monologues, sidequests without significant story development, downtime that doesn't have a purpose, description of unimportant things (and sometimes important things that simply aren't affected by how they look), and anything that doesn't make sense.  It also means I put things in: transitions, time-jumps, 'downtime' with significant plot points, dialogue markers to determine who is speaking.  And that's just the beginning.

I am evil when I edit.  I destroy my beautiful novel, my beautiful baby - I alternately stuff her with new scenes and slice off old ones.  I am a surgeon.  I am a troll.  I wield a club, a sword, an axe, and a sewing needle in the same hand.  I cry.  I scream.  But before all that - I read.

I read, because that is what I want someone else to do.  I read my own novel as if I hadn't written it, and I try to find all the places that, as a reader, I get thrown out of my fantasy world.  And I fix all those spots, and think about what I think is missing from that writer's story. I am not her critic - I am not her fan - I am just a reader, given a new novel to read, and all I want is to read the story.  Except, unlike every other book in the world, here I really can make the changes that I want to make.

So I do.

And I think that, perhaps, is one of the biggest reasons I write.  Because when I'm writing the story, I can fix it.

That is why I love editing.

Grammar Brigade: Tense? It's all in the timing.

(Edit: You may also want to read the post The verb "to be")

Tense - not tension, although it can cause that - is all about when things occur.  But sometimes, it's a little more complicated than it looks, figuring out how to express the when, especially if you're trying to keep your tenses in agreement.

Tense, the verb forms express when things happen, can be loosely categorized into past, present, and future.  That's easy; you already know those!

But tense can also be sub-categorized into simple, progressive, and perfect.  That's a little more complex.

Let's look at an example:

The tense forms of "to walk"

Now let's throw them into a relative timeline:

The "simple" tense takes place right at the specified time - a certain point in the past, the present, or a certain point in the future.  This is a point in time to which you are directly referring, the setting of your story.  It begins during your moment of reference, and ends during the moment of your reference.  For example, Angela walks down to the training arena to talk to Mick.  Angela begins the walk and ends the walk during this sentence.

The progressive tense is an action which is taking place at that time - a continuous action which begins before and continues after the moment of referral.  For example, he is walking around the training yard while Angela updates him on the status of the knights.  He was walking before Angela began talking to him, and he will continue walking throughout the conversation, and possibly even after.

The perfect tense is an action which has taken place before the time of reference. By the point of reference, it has already ended.  Angela has walked with Mick through the training yards many times before.  Those walks are all completed.

The perfect progressive indicates a verb taking place over a long period of time, began before the moment of reference and probably before some progressive event.  For example, Laurel has been walking in the courtyard since noon.  That's before Angela came down, and before Mick began walking.  It also continues during the moment - Laurel is still walking while Angela and Mick are walking.

These terms are all relative to one another, and can help place events in order.  See how they're applied here:

The knight Laurel had been practicing his jousts when Mick, Captain of the Guard, joined him in the courtyard.  They sparred together for a few minutes, before Angela interrupted.  Angela was working the purchase order, and needed to know how many straw dummies she should order.  Mick had inventoried the dummies the week night before.  He told her he needed fourteen more.

One last note - you can use all the subtenses in a single paragraph, but it's usually considered poor form to switch tenses (past, present, or future) in the same work without clear time transitions.  This is a general note, and there are cases where it's acceptable, but it's something to avoid.

Try using all four subtenses in a paragraph of your own, and share them here, in the comments!

Grammar Brigade: That. Yes, That.

To each which is a college professor telling you to use that.  Is it true?  Is that the cure-all for whiches?  Just consider:

Which cat do you prefer? =>  That cat do you prefer?

I told my mother the dress she wore made her butt look big, which got me in trouble. =>  I told my mother the dress she wore made her butt look big, that got me in trouble.

The tulips, some of which were red, looked lovely. =>  The tulips, some of that were red, looked lovely.

Houston, we have a problem.

That should be used only in restrictive clauses, after the noun is modified by a superlative adjective, after counting words (such as seven or forty-five), and after the following pronouns:

{all, any, anything, every, everything, few, little, many, much, nothing, none, some, something}

Also, that should never be used to represent people.  Use who or whom instead.

All the zebras got into the clown car, including twelve zebras that belonged to the Evil League of Evil.

In a side note... "of which" may be used in place of "that" post-number concepts.  For example: All the zebras got into the clown car, twelve of which belonged to the Evil League of Evil.

Any explanations of how the zebras earned their invitations from Bad Horse into the Evil League of Evil?  Oh, and bonus points if you know from which show "Evil League of Evil" comes.

Interlude

I went to see The Help yesterday.  Awesome movie!  Also, if you go, be prepared to get there early, because it sold out. 

In related news, today's post was not yet written, which means this morning will provide none of the usual helpful stuff.

Instead, I give you a cat.

Also, a short rant to retailers:  It is August.  Now is the time to begin stocking supplies for fall - not put them on the final sale.  I am not going to begin decorating my house for Christmas in August.  Please stop trying to turn a single day into a four-month continuous holiday.  You've completely forgotten the point of the holiday, anyway, so there's really no reason to start advertising until after Thanksgiving - which, I may add, is also a decorating-holiday.  Only not anymore, because by the time I think to decorate for Thanksgiving (you know, early November), there are no longer any decorations left on the shelves to buy, because Christmas now begins in mid-October.

Everyone else: Guard your Halloween decoration displays closely.  Their days are numbered...

Budgeting for a Writer, part 3

Great!  I've made a budget, and it clearly fits into the savings I have!  I'll be fine...

Or will I?

I brushed on this before, but I just want to reiterate: Don't cut back just because you want to save money - or you'll never stick to your budget!  Instead, figure out how much you actually spend in fun each month.

Here's a hint, and it's almost counter-intuitive: give yourself a "fun allowance," and spend it!  Giving yourself $100 a month, and it's the 25th, and you've only spent $75?  Now a friend is asking if you want to go out lunch?  Of course you do!  Because, otherwise, it's like a fad diet: you starve yourself for weeks, only to attack the fridge in the middle of the night for an ice cream bonanza.  Cutting out too much encourages crazy splurges, so control the splurges by deciding ahead of time when, where, and how much you'll spend.

That doesn't mean you can't play the numbers a little.  Let's say that you want to go to a conference, and you plan on hitting the dealers' room for a beautiful new painting.  But it's outside your monthly budget, and you didn't plan for it in your original budget.  Spend less this month and roll the savings over.  Here's another hint: save, don't borrow.  Save up for something you want, and don't borrow from next month.  Borrowing puts you in "debt" to yourself, and it's far harder to want to pay off debt than it is to want to save up for something you really want.

This is your money.  It has to last.  So have fun - really.  It's called "sanity" money.

What's your sanctioned splurge?

Grammar Brigade: That vs. Which

Ever engaged in a bout of which-hunting?  Confused as to whether which or that should take the place of honor in your sentence?

The answer depends on whether or not your clause is restrictive.  No, I don't mean handcuffs.  I mean, does the phrase change the meaning of the sentence?

"The car that was painted with flames along its sides could go up to 120mph."  This sentence implies that there are multiple cars, so it's necessary to specify which car could go 120mph (the one with flames on its sides.)  In this case, your clause is restrictive, because you need to specify which one of the cars can go that speed. 

"The car, which had flames painted along its sides, could go up to 120mph."  This sentence implies that there is only one car that matters.  You could throw out the phrase, and the gist of the sentence would still be understood (the car is fast!)  Therefore, your clause is nonrestrictive. 

In other words, if your phrase clarifies which object is being discussed, use that.  If your phrase is simply adding another description to an object, use which (and usually commas.)
Examples:

My clock, which was on my bed stand, kept me awake all night.  (Non-restrictive: you already know which clock is mine.)

The clock that is on the bookshelf is hideous.  (Restrictive: there is more than one clock in the apartment.)

The Canadian goose took the bread that was stale.  (Restrictive: the goose did not take the bread that wasn't stale, but there was some non-stale bread around.)

The chipmunk stole the rest of the ham sandwich, which was very tasty.  (Non-restrictive: there's only one ham sandwich.  It was sadly missed, and no other sandwich will ever be as delicious again.)


Exception:

If you've already used that to introduce a restrictive clause in a sentence, you may use which to introduce the next.  Ex:  My die that was blue which always rolled poorly mysteriously disappeared yesterday.  (This sentence implies that I have several dice, several of which are blue, and several of which roll poorly.)

Questions?  Comments?  Examples?  Eulogies for dearly departed ham sandwich?


References:
Who vs. Which vs. That from GrammarBook
Which versus That from Grammar Girl
That Vs. Which from DailyWritingTips

A new set of online classes

Another set of classes for writers:

What's in a Name?
Discover resources that will give you a quick sketch of your entire character just from the name, learn how to deepen characters with a few simple tools, locate your character's Goal, Motivation and Conflict with a set of simple questions, discover how to create a more powerful plot from your character, discover subplots hidden in your character's background
Runs: August 15-Sept. 14
cost: $25

Making Sexual Tension Work for You
 During the course of this class two Harlequin authors – one Presents and one Blaze – will discuss their approaches to sexual tension – how they differ and how they’re similar. We’ll use movie clips to help us recognize and evaluate what makes good sexual tension and learn how to apply those lessons to our own writing. We’ll discuss what sexual tension is, what it isn’t and how you can manipulate the 12 steps to intimacy in order to increase the stakes and tension for your characters.
Runs: August 15-August 29
Cost: $20

Everyone needs a Name
Tricks, hints and sources for finding names, whether you are writing a contemporary romance, historical fiction, fantasy, or even about a world far, far away.  The course will include help in coming up with names for places, things, and even your character’s pets.  You'll even get to choose a pen name for yourself.  If you're having trouble renaming your characters after reading common first-novel mistakes, then this might be a good class for you!
Runs: August 29-Sept. 12
Cost: $20

Classes with the Low-Country RWA
Microsoft Word for Writers
Sept. 5-30
Registration deadline: Sept. 2
Cost: $16

Avoiding the common first-novel mistakes

Today's post is a summary of two posts on Storyfix.com: 5 Creative Flaws That Will Expose Your Lack of Storytelling Experience, and 5 More Mistakes That Will Expose You As a Rookie. 

Don't want the agent you're querying to know that this is your first novel?  Then don't tell.  I don't mean just skipping the line in your query letter, either - I mean don't make the mistakes that most debut authors make.

I'm taking the top 5 tips from Storyfix's two articles and sharing them with you.  If you want the whole list, then check out the articles!  These are things that most new writers do.  There are a few of which I used to be guilty (although I would like to believe I've broken myself of the habits over the years.)  Chances are, you're as guilty as I once was of at least one of these.  So read the list of newbie tell-tales, and break yourself of these habits before you begin making them!

1.  Downtime
Scene one.  Action!  Mark and Stacy have a shootout.  Then Stacy goes home, showers the blood off, spends a chapter reflecting about her life, and eats a 3-course dinner.  Finally, scene two  - the next actual installment of the plot - occurs the next morning.

Skip the downtime!  If it's not driving the plot, throw it out or paraphrase it in as few sentences as possible.  "After a shower, a little self-pity fest, and a three-course dinner to unwind, Stacy was ready to face Mark again.  She loaded her gun and stuck it under the pillow, wearing PJs suitable for waking up to an ambush."  There you go.  No need to waste space on unimportant details.  You can always post them online later as extras for fans visiting the website, if you'd like, but don't put them in the book.

2.  Over-description (especially of food)
Sure, the food is great.  Sure, it's historically accurate, and things the reader would never even think about eating.  But it's not important.  Like downtime: just skip it!  Throw in a word about the food over dinner conversation:  "Stacy glared at Mark over a leg of braised lamb.  He grinned back as he poured a little too much gravy over his fried eyeballs.  'Is something wrong, love?' he asked."  And now ignore the food for the rest of the story.  If it's not important to the plot, it's not worth spending words on.

3.  Using a nonstandard font 
Use Courier, Courier New, or New Times Roman.  That's what your agent will want.  That's what your publisher will want.

4.  Not switching paragraphs in dialogue
When you switch speakers, switch paragraphs.

"You're a special flower," Mark told her, reaching over to tweak her nose.

"Screw you," Stacy snapped, intercepting his fingers with a stab of her steak knife.

"I'm starting to think that might be a good idea," Mark whispered from beside her, well out of range of the knife.

She shuddered.  "This is getting weird."  And strangely interesting, too, but she wasn't about to admit that.

5.  Crazy names
Xanphilios and Xanatha are walking through the park... Or was that Xanathan and Xakraphos?  Don't start names with the same letter unless they're drastically different.  You could have a Lou and a Lauralyn in a story together, but not a Louis and a Larry.  Yes, it's tempting to not pay attention.  But if your reader can't keep your characters straight, then they won't get your story.

I wanted historically accurate names for my Bronze Age romance; I purposely chose the shortest, most easily pronounced names I could find, and then promptly gave every character with an unusual name a short-and-sweet nickname.  Why?  Because to a reader, "Xanphilios" turns into "X(reallylongsomething)."  If your characters must have an unusual name, keep it short.  "Xan" would be an acceptable nickname - mention the full name once, and then never use it again.  Because, really, your reader will only pronounce the name once, anyway.  And that's why it's also important not to start names with similar letters.

Some of my historically-accurate character names, and their nicknames:
Zoi -"Zoi"
Adela - "Adela"
Minos - "Minos"
Lygos* - "Lygos"
Vassilios -"Vassil"
Iasonas** - "Iason"

*Lygos is not historically accurate.  The accurate version, "Lykourgos," was too long for a main character, and I'd run out of relatively short names, so I simplified.
**Interesting factoid: I was a precursor to J.  So Iason is an old-fashioned version of Jason. 


Like all writing rules, these aren't set in stone.  Maybe there's a legitimate reason to describe the food - is it symbolic?  Is it used as a direct insult to your character?  Or maybe your 'downtime' isn't actually downtime, but rather a setup.  While Stacy's cooking dinner, there's some strange noises coming from the other room that she thinks is her cat.  Perhaps you've only got one character in your story whose name begins with an "N," so you're okay with him being known as "N(morethantwosyllablessoIwon'treadit.)" 

But there's a reason these are suggestions - take them to heart as much as you can.  Your story should never tell your agent that you're a new writer.  The choice to tell is yours, and if you're a good enough writer, you'll have to say it before they know it.

What other mistakes do you frequently see from debut authors?

Grammar Brigade: homonyms explained

What's a homonym?

Homonyms are two words which sound the same, but are spelled differently.

Let's look a few commonly misused homonyms:
It's vs. its; there vs. they're vs. their; let's vs. lets; you're vs. your; whose vs. who's; capital vs. capitol; principle vs. principal; passed vs. past

It's: A contraction of "it is."  Do not use anywhere you would not use "It is."
ex: It's purple.
Its: The possessive of "it."  Use when "it" owns something.
ex: Its hat is purple.

There: A place.  Should only be used when pointing at something, or in text when "there" has been clearly specified.
ex: It is over there. 
There: A way of starting a sentence in passive voice.  (Why are you using passive voice in your writing?  You'd better have a good reason.  No, really.)
ex: There is nothing worse than getting squashed by a falling toilet. 
They're:  A contraction of "They are." Use only when you would use "they are."
ex: They're in Georgia.
Their: The possessive form of "they." Use when they own something.
ex: Their car broke down in Georgia.

Let's: A contraction of "let us."  Use only as a substitute for "let us."
ex:  Let's go to Canada.
Lets: The present tense conjugation of "let" (as a synonym for "allow") for a singular person.
ex:  He lets me borrow his flour.

You're: A contraction of "you are."  Use only as substitute for "you are."
ex:  You're angry, aren't you?
Your:  The possessive of "you."  Use when you own something.
ex:  Your book bag is heavy.

Whose:  The possessive of "who."  Use when you are trying to determine the owner of something, or when you are using "who" as a pronoun.
ex:  Whose book bag is that?
ex:  I gave it to Jacob, whose book bag needed the extra space.
Who's:  The contraction of "who is."  Use only to replace "who is."
ex:  Who's responsible for the laundry this week?

Capital: A city that serves as the seat of government for an area, or an asset such as wealth, or a capital letter.
ex:  Raleigh is the capital of North Carolina.
Capitol: Only used to name a building; specifically, the building in which the legislature meets.
ex:  We were really bored during our tour of the Capitol Building.

Principle:  A moral purpose.
ex:  It's against my principles to eat raw steak.
Principal:  An adjective meaning most important, or the leader of a school, or the initial investment of money before interest is added.
ex:  The principal objective is to not get eaten by the dinosaurs; after that, you need to capture the flag.

Passed:  The past tense of the verb "to pass."  Use only if someone has physically moved from behind to ahead of something, or passed a test.
ex:  I passed the test with flying colors.
ex:  He passed me in the right-hand lane.
Past: A location; a time period; a preposition; an adverb; "past" locates something in time and space.
ex: I stuck my tongue out as I drove past him.
ex: One look at the funny breeches told him everything: he was stuck in the past, with no way home.
ex: In my past life, I was an osterich.
ex: The days for mourning are now past.
ex: It was half past three.
What are the most common homonym mistakes you see?

Grammar Brigade: Semicolons, the forgotten punctuation

I was going to do a lesson on using semicolons.  However, I cannot possibly outdo The Oatmeal's semicolon lesson.

I can, however, paraphrase it for those too lazy to follow the link, or those who fear being sucked into The Oatmeal's endless supply of ridiculously funny pages.  (Go ahead and bookmark the page for later.  You know you want to.)

Semicolons are usually used to connect two independent clauses together.
ex:  I love morning glories; my mother loves hydrangea.
This should only be done when the two independent clauses are actually related.
NO!: I love morning glories; Sister Anne drove the van to a conference in Italy. :NO!

They can also be used in sentences wherein there are already commas (for the purposes of clarity.)
ex:  I have visted Austin, Texas; Memphis, Tennessee; Juneau, Alaska; and New York, New York.
ex:  My teacher, Mr. Norris, loved apples; and when finished eating, he would bury the cores under piles of nasty, steamy tar.

Questions, besides why Mr. Norris loves to bury apple cores beneath tar?

Grammar Brigade: Clauses, and why they matter

What's a clause?

A clause is a group of words which contains both a subject and a verb. 
ex: He walks.
ex: while I ran
ex: if you look under the couch

Sometimes, clauses have implied subjects.  That's okay, too - they still count as clauses.
ex: Don't do that!  (implied subject: person addressed)
ex: Run!  (implied subject: person addressed)
ex: don't worry (implied subject: someone who should probably be worried)

Note: Clauses with implied subjects are different from interjections.  Interjections are one-word expressions, usually showing emotion.  They can stand alone, or be added to a sentence.
ex: Oops.  (not a clause!)
ex: Wow!  (not a clause!)

Clauses come in two types: independent and dependent. 

An independent clause is a clause that is, in and of itself, a sentence.  It can stand on its own, although you might want to add more to it.
ex: He runs.
ex: He throws a Frisbee at Mike.
ex: Mike dodges the ninja star disguised as a Frisbee.

A dependent clause is a clause that cannot stand on its own.  By itself, it is just a sentence fragment.  It is preceded by a conjunction or a marker word.
ex: because Mick didn't move fast enough
ex: when Mick dodged
ex: if I do a cartwheel

Dependent clauses must be tacked on to independent clauses in order to be a full sentence (They're kind of needy that way.)  This usually requires punctuation, in the form of a comma, unless one of the clauses is particularly short.
ex: When Mick ran for president, I voted for the other guy.
ex: If I do a cartwheel, I will break my neck.
ex: I'll bake the cake, while you make the icing.
ex: I laughed when Susan dropped flour on Mick.  (I laughed/ when Susan dropped flour on Mick) ("I laughed" is short - no comma is needed in this case!)

Independent clauses may be joined together to form a full sentence, but they require either the addition of conjunctions (and, so, but, yet, for, nor, or), or the use of a semicolon.
ex: I walked to the store, but Mick ran.
ex: I walked to the store; Mick ran.
ex: I planted a gardenia outside, and now my yard smells nice.
ex: I planted a gardenia outside; now my yard smells nice.

Some common words can be added to independent clauses without removing their independent status.  Some of these are words like: however, moreover, also, nevertheless, furthermore.
ex: I walked to the store; however, Mick ran.  (Still need that semi-colon!)
ex: I planted a gardenia outside; nevertheless, my yard still smells like fish.

If you combine two independent clauses with a comma, then you have a comma splice.  This is a type of run-on sentence, and your paper will bleed red when your editor returns it to you.
NO!:  I walked to the store, Mick ran.  :NO!
NO!:  I planted a gardenia outside, now my yard smells nice.  :NO!
NO!: I planted a gardenia outside, nevertheless, my yard still smells like fish.  :NO!

Be supportive for your dependent clauses.  Give them the punctuation they need in order to survive an editor's brutal attack.

(Thanks to Purdue OWL for definitions!)

This Grammar Brigade attack is brought to you by... common comma errors!

Do you have a grammar question?  If I don't know the answer, I'll look it up!

The Grammar Brigade: Commas and Addressing People

Look, Charlie, it's the Grammar Brigade!  That's right; we often forget the importance of grammar in our hurry to get the story across.  But good grammar does make a difference.  Bad grammar is one of my pet peeves (just ask anyone I've edited,) so I'll be putting up the occasional lesson for frequently forgotten rules.

Today's topic: Commas in addressing people.  I frequently see writers forget to set names off with commas.  This makes a difference.  Consider:

Fly to the North James.

Huh?  Where is "North James"? Is that a city?

Oh, you mean:  Fly to the North, James.  As in, James the character should be flying North.

When directly addressing a person, set off their name with a comma.

Nora, look out!  The Grammar Brigade is out to get you!

Don't worry, mom; it's not as bad as it looks.  (Note: "Don't worry" is a complete clause.  If you add anything else, you'll usually need a semi-colon.  This is another common mistake.)

In all of these cases, the name is a way to identify to whom the sentence is addressed.  "Luke walked to the store" does not need a comma, because you're not directly addressing Luke.  "Cherry, Luke walked to the store" does need a comma - you're informing Cherry that Luke walked to the store; thus, you are directly addressing her (and she probably just asked where Luke was, at the same time that Sally asked where her shoes were.)

Any questions?

Funny Conference Stories

Best conference story goes to Lady Arite gune Akasa, for her Dragon*Con costume stories!

          "I wear a Cortana costume at Dragon*Con and have gotten some interesting attention with it. I've been called everything from Blue Lady to Mystique to Lady of the Blue Lagoon to Na'vi to Tron. People seriously grasp at straws rather than just ask what you are.

My costume is a painted bodysuit, wig, makeup, and blue contacts. Once, a group of what, under normal circumstances, I would have assumed to be typical sorority girls came on the elevator with us. One rather brazen girl asked "Are you wearing a bra?" Her friends expressed shock and said you can't just ask people that! But it's a con, if you can't be weird and open, what can you be? I told her I was wearing nipple covers, but that only piqued her curiosity and she asked about underwear too. "Yes." "I can't see it!" "It's seamless microfiber so you can't see the lines under the body suit." Her friends were still chastising her and giggling when they stepped off.

A guy said something to me once- I couldn't hear, I assumed it was the usual "Can I take a picture with you?", so I said sure and found myself being swept off my feet and held in his arms. Oh. Okay...well I feel slightly awkward now, but I can laugh it off. Aaand my fiance is laughing at me now. His friend had gotten himself distracted by another costume and it took a while to get his attention, so I was in this random guy's arms for a couple minutes before he realized he was being asked to take pictures.
A drunk girl toddled up to me once and said "Can I have your picture? I need to take your picture 'cause you're really hot." I obliged and she said "Thank you, you're really hot." and toddled off.

Then there was the other drunk lady who wanted specific poses (standing back to back, facing away from the camera w/ arms over each others shoulder and looking back at the camera). One of the more unusual requests I've gotten, but I figured it was harmless. However, my friend and fiance were laughing heartily the entire time and I had no idea why. It was more laughter than warranted by mild amusement at the drunk lady. Turns out she had her tongue out in the most horrible porn star faces the entire time. One friend declared them blackmail pictures. I promptly posted them on the internet to thwart his plans. We saw her again the next day (still drunk). She complemented my outfit but obviously did not remember the day before."

Also worthy of note was the RWA flagpole rapper - apparently, a guy climbed one of the flagpoles and stopped traffic for a while as the police were trying to get him down.  Turns out he was a rapper, trying to advertise his songs!

Any more con hijinks?  I'd love to hear your stories!

No Takebacks?

You've sent a batch of queries and a couple of manuscripts.  You've waited.

And now you've gotten a response.

But your response came from agent #3, and you really wanted to hear back from agent #1 before making a choice.  Can you tell agent #3 that you want to think about it, or is it first come, first serve?

Absolutely tell agent #3 that you need to think about the offer.  And then send a notification to everyone else who has your manuscript that you've gotten an offer - to those whom you think would work better with you than #3, tell them you've had an offer and would like to hear back from them.  To those whom you think agent #3 would be better than, tell them you've had an offer and thank them for their time, but let them know you're now off the market.

This is professional, this is polite, and this is acceptable.  Telling an agent that you've had a prior offer and you're still considering them gets them to take a deeper look at your manuscript - but, they will be rushed, so don't try using this as a ploy to get read.  A rushed agent is more likely to say "No" than one who has had enough time to mull. 

On the other hand, if you don't tell the other agents that you're now engaged in conversation with #3, you risk wasting everyone's time.  Agent #3 deserves to know that you've sent a batch of queries, and it's perfectly acceptable to take a little time to communicate with them.  But if you wait too long, you risk #3 starting to think that you're unreliable.  And if you don't e-mail #4 to tell them your manuscript already has an agent, then when #4 gives you a call and you say the manuscript is off the market, they'll be mad at you for wasting their time.  The industry isn't that big. It's not a good idea to irritate an agent, not even if you don't think you'll be working with them.  At the very least, that's unprofessional behavior.

So, yes, if you get the call - make a call (or e-mail.)  Let the other agents you've contacted know you've spoken with one agent and gotten an offer, and let them know if you're still considering them, or if you're now off the market.  And while "Nyah-nyah, they got me first!" might be satisfying, it really won't help your cause - a polite "Thanks for your time, but I've gotten an offer and am withdrawing my query/manuscript" will suffice.

Besides, next book might be more to Agent #4's taste.  And I know you're already working on the next one, right?

Not just red: Roses of many colors for the discerning hero

Your hero just told his leading lady that he thought her best friend was hotter than she was.
Or maybe he taped over their wedding video.
Or he lost the joust that he was supposed to win, in order to win her kiss, and she had to smooch some smelly, overweight jock-jerk.

Now it's time to apologize.  What does he do?  He brings her flowers.  And, being guys, "flowers" mean "roses."

But what if your heroine doesn't like red roses?  What if he's not far enough into the relationship to be comfortable offering her red roses?  What if the guy has commitment issues, and has a minor phobia of red roses?

Great news: Roses come in a million colors.  Every color, in fact, except for black and blue.  So here's some rose colors you can use if your hero isn't up with traditional red.


Pink rose: admiration, symbolizes sweetness and elegance













Yellow rose: Joy, happiness, friendship

'Sweetness' roses are some of my favorites.



White: Innocence and purity (when mixed with red, "pure and lasting love")

Orange: Passion, desire, enthusiasm

High & Magic Roses

Bicolor roses: My personal favorite, roses with two colors


There's also purple and green roses:

Purple roses: Enchantment, love at first sight



Green Roses: Rejuvination, energy, self-respect and well-being

Want more colors?  Check out one of my favorite sites: The Elite Flower, a flower wholesaler with tons of great pictures of the varieties they offer.  (I'll admit to wasting a few hours just browsing the flower colors...)



Or, if you'd like a flower beside a rose, try a website which offers premade flower arrangements.  Lilies, calla lilies, and orchids are nice higher-end flowers; gerbera daisies and sunflowers are also popular choices for gift flowers.   Accompany your main flower (or "focal flower") with baby's breath, wax flower, or statice ("filler flowers") to accent them, and throw in a little greenery.  You can also throw in other accent flowers, like delphinium, liatris, or hydrangea.



Note that carnations, unless they are your heroine's favorite flower, aren't really a great choice for a relationship: they're more often a gift for a family member or used as an accent in a bouquet of other flowers.

What's your favorite flower?  What's your favorite rose color?

(*edited 9/24/12; now all photos posted are my own. Permission granted to use photos as long as link is provided back to blog, or credit given for non-web uses. :)

5 Steps to Using an Agent Catalogue

Wouldn't it be great if there were some catalogue of literary agents, which you could pick up and browse at will?

Oh, wait.  There is!

Check out your local bookseller (I went to Barnes & Nobles, because there's one just down the street.)  A lot of large stores will carry books like The 2011 Guide to Literary Agents or a similar title.  If you're not in the RWA, or if you're looking for a different genre and haven't joined the association yet to get access to the association's list of agents, the book's a pretty good resource.  Heck, it's good even if you are a member.

But not every agency listed will sell your book.  And, as every writer should know, it's just plain silly to query an agent who doesn't sell your sort of book!  They don't have the connections, haven't studied your market, and may not even enjoy reading your genre at all.  So do your research before writing your letter.

Step one is to flip to the index.  That's right, the big books I've seen have a lovely little "by genre" index in the back, which will allow you to make a list of all agencies which might actually be willing to accept your novel (or your instruction book for decoding the mathematics behind taxes, as related to the housing market in China.  A lot of the agencies do take nonfiction.)  As for me, I only noted down the agencies I hadn't seen on the RWA website, or which I'd seen but not yet applied to.  No point researching someone to whom I've already sent a query!

Step two is to actually read the blurb provided.  Just because an agent sells romance, doesn't mean they sell paranormal/fantasy romance.  I marked everyone off my list who didn't sell my specific genre.  I also marked off a few who did, but who only take new clients by referrals, or who work with only established authors. 

Naturally, step three is to note down the contact information and preferences of the agency. 

Step for is not to query them.  Step four is to research them by going online, checking out their agency and their agents, and figuring out which agent is most likely to be interested in my work.  I also check out any blogs connected to the agency, and read through to get a better feel of what interests the agents, what their pet peeves are, and if they have any particular preferences for what should be included in the submission.

Step five, yes, is to actually send the query, and wait for a reply.  Try not to be like me and fidget too much in the interval, especially since it usually takes a few weeks for agents to get back to you.  Remember that they get hundreds of e-mails a week (sometimes a day.)  Jennifer Laughran suggests that waiting is good for you: if an agent sends something back immediately, usually it's a rejection.  They think about the submissions they like.  And, if you follow ettiquette, you should query no more than five agents at any one time, except in cases where an agent says they prefer an exclusive query (obviously, you'll be sending to just them.) In the latter case, they usually tend to be quicker on the return replies.

And, if you're lucky, step six will be to get a follow-up phone call, wherein you'll ask a lot of questions. 

For those published writers out there, how did you find your agent?  Through a recommendation, a conference, or a cold query?  Through a contest or a class?  How did you choose which agent to query?  And do you have any warnings or suggestions for debut authors?

Pitching in Person, as advised by Virginia Kantra

I'm going to keep this one short, since you'll go read the article if it's of interest to you.


Another blog for ya'll to check out: http://virginiakantra.blogspot.com/2011/05/write-on-wednesday-pitch-appointment.html

Virginia Kantra is a best-selling paranormal romance writer who also has a ton of great advice for budding authors.  This particular article is on giving pitches to an agent/publisher in person, if you happen to be in a place (like a conference) which allows you to sign up to pitch to such an esteemed person.  If you're planning on going with a traditonal publishing house, I recommend it.  Also, I'd recommend browsing through her other articles, even if you're self-publishing.  She's worth the read.

Dear goodness, another query???

Hey, I've made another revision of my query letter!  Just thought that I would show that I'm still working to make it better.  After taking a couple of classes and dragging my friends into editing for me (Thanks especially to Jess, Kat, and Gwyn!), I've made a yet another version.
You know what's crazy?  I'm still not satisfied with it.  I want to know more about my female lead.  BUT, it does address several main issues.  It's under 250 words; it introduces the book first; it demonstrates the conflict and doesn't bog the reader down in a multitude of subplots.  The entire purpose of a query letter is to get the agent to ask for more.  It's the synopsis that actually tells the story; the query is just a hook.  But still...  Maybe it's just perfectionism, but chances are, you'll see another version soon enough, if this one doesn't start getting responses (and quickly!)

By the way, a good query letter should supposedly net you at least an 80% request rate.  If it doesn't, you're supposed to rewrite it.  Mine didn't.  So, I took a few classes and rewrote it.  Wish me luck!

How many versions has your query gone through?  Have you ever taken a class, or found a book, that made the difference between a form rejection and a manuscript request?  And what was your biggest error?

Some more online classes for your perusal

I figured that some of these looked useful, and no one said they never wanted to see class links again after my first post, so I went ahead and compiled some more. The first one is free to both members and nonmembers of the host chapter (and yes, like all the courses, you can take it even if you're not a member of the RWA!)

FREE: Why did that editor reject me?
"Publisher and Editor Liz Pelletier of Entangled Publishing will teach you how to evaluate your submission package from an acquisition perspective, so you'll be able to eliminate any deal-breakers from your own manuscript.  This workshop will include dissection of sample submissions so you can see an editor's thought processes as she reviews a submission package and decides its fate." 
*I've taken a class with this instructor before; check out the review of my last class with her
Runs July 18-July 24

The X-Tremely Productive Writer
"What writer doesn't dream of producing three, four, or five books a year? It's more achievable than you think. Writing is like using a muscle; if you increase your outcome a little at a time, it's easier than trying to suddenly write as fast as Nora Roberts."
Cost for nonmembers: $25
Runs July 5-Aug1

Polishing Your Sample Pages
"When submitting to agents, you often get to include five sample pages with your query. This workshop will teach you how to get those pages to shine, from character introduction, conflict, voice and formatting--to ensure that agent will want to read more."
Cost for nonmembers: $20
Runs July 5-July 18

Medical Speak for Writers
"Medical Speak for Writers is a four-day class that covers the various types of medical facilities, the departments of a typical hospital, medical terminology, various medical specialties, patient experiences and common injuries."
Cost for nonmembers: $20
Runs July 25- Aug 1

http://lowcountryrwa.com/online-workshops/
Cost: $16
Use-of-force workshop
"Want to make your Law Enforcement character come alive, give her what she needs to know so that she thinks and acts like a real cop when things go bad?"
Runs: July 8-July 29
Writing Regency-Period Novels
"This workshop covers:
        • What makes the Regency a fascinating era
          - How to use this era to add wit gallantry and elegance to your setting and your novel.
        • Key research resources:
          - What do you need to get right and
          – What can you invent.
        • Brief overview of the history of the Regency era, with its great contrast, and therefore great conflicts, and rich background."
Runs: Aug 5-26

http://www.passionateink.org/workshops/
Cost for nonmembers: $20
How to get an Agent - and not get scammed
"Week 1 will focus on mistakes writers make that can result in being the victim of a scam, and week 2 will present positive steps for finding a legitimate agent."
Runs July 11- July 20