Friday, April 3, 2015

At least it's a good story?

I was going through some old card collections when I came across the taped-assembled make-my-own Magic card. "Player may take a card from opponent's deck and place it in their own," it read, with ransom-note-style cutouts cannibalized from other magic cards, and stuck into place with masking tape. I think I remember it turning out about as well as you'd expect... didn't net me too many cards, we'll put it that way.

But hey, I was ten, and thought I was clever.

How many stories start (or end) with a one-liner like that? One that you know means trouble--or at least a good laugh?

Usually the stories are funny. Sometimes they're just eye-roll worthy. But you always know you're about to hear about someone doing The Dumb.

"It was college, and I was drunk..."

In retrospect, gun-swords were probably not such a great idea.
But boy did the idea sound cool, right?
"Well, we lost our map, but we thought we remembered the route pretty well..."

"It was Vegas..."

Sometimes it's something you know will make you mad, or worried.

"Now don't be mad, but..."

"Nothing's broken!"

"I can fix it."

What are some story starters that let you know you're in for a funny story? Which lines tell you you're about to be mad, even before you hear the story? And which one do you dread the most?

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